the following, in bold, is a question that was sent to my ask box on tumblr. to follow is my answer. i wish that anyone and everyone has friends to help them through tough and confusing times and i wish it was easier to find answers to questions like who we are.

Are you gay? If so how did you know? I am so confused on my sexual orientation. I think women are beautiful and easier to connect with. But I still find guys attractive. urg. any advice?
-Anonymous

i identify as pansexual and it has taken me until earlier this year to be comfortable saying that.

i always being rather tomboyish and more friendly with guys. i never really got along with girls or felt that i fit in. around the time puberty hit is when it sort of became awkward; everyone started dating but i was always the best friend, considered more one of the guys than a potential girlfriend. in my early teens i remember people constantly asking if i was gay or rather telling me i was gay if i said no so i always sort of fought to be seen as straight. around 17/18 my relationship with the person i considered my best friend sort of turned into something more. we were both completely caught off guard by the development of our relationship and both struggled through the new identity crisis that followed. it was definitely worth it because it was the only relationship i have been in that i felt 100% right and comfortable. while we were together it was easier to just be happy than try and identify a title for myself. i knew i was happy with her and thats what mattered. the questioning really began once we ended the romantic relationship.

i spent a lot of time going back and forth, stuck in a biphobic mindset and after a lot of frustration and no real answers i found comfort in the identity of pansexual.

my best advice is a label is the least important. relax and listen to your heart. dont close yourself off from any one identity or opportunity, just allow yourself to be happy. as you become more comfortable with yourself you will likely become more confident in an identity.

if you would like to talk via aim, msn, yahoo, skype, any messenger or something more personal (even if you want to remain anon) im more than willing to continue this conversation. best of luck, just let yourself be happy.