creating this was something to keep me busy, as i remained in my vegetative state today (a voluntary vegetative state).
i have so many blogs its crazy, and oddly enough, each is very different. some some posts i carry over from one to another, each has its own purpose, each is evident of another aspect of my life. maybe its the attention, in all actuality, i dont really expect many people to read my stuff. sure people will stumble upon it and read it, maybe be intrigued and thus get to know me on this almost too personal level, but i dont advertise my blogs, i dont really share with many that i keep blogs. its weird, i create an imaginary audience in my head as i am writing, someone that i am writing to, but knowing that someone, especially someone i know, is reading my writing and thoughts makes it very difficult for me to be myself.


i have been in sort of a funk lately and trying to keep myself busy and get myself together.
i got a unicycle for hanukah that i have been trying to teach myself to ride. i was messing around with my dslr, playing with the settings and taking pictures and what not.
i took a black and white photography class last semester in school that i really enjoyed. i have a new appreciation for film. with digital cameras we can click click click until its perfect. with film you are limited to 24 or 36 exposures in a roll of 35 mm film. it makes each exposure count and sort of requires a more active role of the photographer.

the new year has had an interesting start. it has been a difficult couple of days. i dont like to think that it was a bad start, just a challenging start. it is only to make me search deeper and farther for goodness, a test of my own strength and will power. i will get out of this funk and i will continue to move forward.


more to come soon.
but for now i will take a leave.