i want to make something of myself. from time to time i have ideas that i believe are brilliant, i am ready to dive in, but scare myself from actually doing so. its strange, most people would want to be known for their good deeds, i on the other hand, do not want those close to me to know the things i do that are good. for some reason i fear how i may be seen if i volunteer or do for others. either way, i have a new idea, rather a compilation of a couple of ideas i have had over the years and i am going to go through with it. i hope it goes as far as i have made plans for, even farther, only time will tell, but now i will begin. i do not want to say too much about my idea until i have it all put together and then i will post more.